Thoughts to Discuss

There is a dialogue in the tamil movie Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya – “intha vali enaku pudikkum” (I like this pain). Sometimes, we all do like some pain, right? Be it physical or emotional. Little bit of pain feels good sometimes. You might even feel proud of it. Is it the proudness that make us like the pain in the first place?

#thoughtsatnightwhenyoucantsleep

I get really happy when people appreciate my courage and strength when I faced the adversities I faced in my life. It used to give a big kick to me. But I realized later that anyone could do the same if given a chance. Maybe they could even do better.

Chance might be a wrong word here, but I prefer to use it. Because all adversities are a chance. A chance to learn and be strong. Because you have no choice but to face it. You might be surprised by what you can face when you have no other choice.

This could be demotivating, but it is good to know this so that you dont get over or under confident about yourselves.

I never thought I would write about you one day! I always thought that nature is having a lot of trees and plants and greenery. Coming from Kerala, it is typically what you can expect. But you, Hyderabad, made me fall in love with nature without the cliched greenery. The sunrises and sunsets we see here are a rare sight at Kerala unless you go to a beach or so (due to the trees).

(Unedited pics, shot by me at IIT, Hyderabad in Redmi 5)

You made me fall in love with the painted sky and this barren land and the beauty it has. The wind it brings. The reason it gave me to walk around the campus at morning and evening, alone or with friends. The feeling it creates in my heart. Which makes life feel like worth living.

This is also beautiful and satisfying to the soul, as much as the greenery at Kerala. I learned to never underestimate any place, because, everything has pros and cons.

Shush. Just shush.

Why did they not invent a paracetamol for you?
Maybe they realized that everyone would soon become addicts…

Do people try to avoid you often?
Cuz I just can’t do that howmuchever I try

Sometimes, you just go away
But, you always do come back

What a beautiful couple are we!

“Maalai Nerathu Mayakkama
Unnai Naan Izhandhen?”

Exact translation:
Is it the delusion in the evening
That resulted in me losing you?

Scene:
The hero has forcefully had sex with his wife after getting high with alcohol. She wants a divorce after that. He realizes his mistake and is asking her forgiveness.

This scene teaches us a lot.

But, this post is not about that. This is to everyone who has lost something due to something they did when they were high with something. To them who realized their mistake when they came to their senses.

Stop feeling guilty. Just stop. It is not your fault. This happens to even the nicest people in the world. Alcohol/substances make us something which we are not.

You may say that it was still me who decided to do that. Alcohol just gave me the courage to do it. That is wrong. You are what you chose to do when you are sane, not what your thoughts are. Alcohol is giving you false courage to choose the things you might have thought about, not what you chose before. You are not the person who did those things. You are the person who felt guilty about it.

Stop hurting yourself with guilt. Stop writing letters to the person you hurt. Throw the letters, smile and move on, because that was not your fault.

#thoughts #letters

 

If you were asked to stand in long queue to get into something you like, say a party or temple or some event, you can stand for hours… But if you were told to stand for 10 minutes to get out of the same, you would get restless and impatient… Does that mean we have patience only when we have some motivation for it?

Optimist: “If winter comes, can spring be far behind”

Pessimist: “If spring comes, can winter be far behind”

Pragmatic: “Who cares!”

Does anyone else feel so, or is it my crazy notion? When you go to meet a doctor for a fever or tell your friends about how sick you are, do you secretly wish it was much more bad so that you could tell it that way?

Would you be proud/happy of the attention you would get if you are more sick? Or do I suffer from mild Munchausen’s Syndrome? 🤔 (lol, just kidding)😅

Don’t we all feel for our computers/softwares? How many of you have clicked ‘maybe later’ instead of ‘never’ while your application asks you to rate it? Do we do that because we dont want it to feel bad? In some games, instead of exit button, if they have options like ‘Sorry, gotta go. I will come back later, though’ and ‘I don’t like this game’, what would you choose even if you don’t think you will play it again? Atleast I would choose the first option. I naturally think not to hurt “their feelings”.

Is it because we think of the manufacturer/developer who might get this feedback or are we really capable of developing these feelings for softwares?

Depression! It has become a serious problem these days. I myself am suffering from it for the past 6 years. I know a lot of people who suffer from depression. But, there is a lot of taboo going on and a lot of people who judge people suffering from depression. I want to write this post to encourage people to talk about depression and to share my knowledge of it.

Clinical depression is not ‘sadness that happens due to some problems in your life’. Depression is being and feeling depressed even when everything around you is alright. Even when your life is going extremely well. So, don’t ask us to “just get over it”. Because the inability to “get over it” is depression. Please don’t tell us “There are a lot of people who have had worse things happening in their life” because we are not sad because of some events in our lives. I have had depression episodes when my life was perfectly fine. We might even look very happy outside. People might not even have the slightest clue that something is wrong with us.

Why is it that people find it hard to talk about clinical depression or other mental illnesses than other illnesses? Because we think that people won’t accept us. But I think if given a proper understanding of what it is, people can understand.

Depression is a battle with your own head. It is not something that can come and go in a day. It is a constant battle. And it is not an easy battle.

Don’t think that depressed people need to be left alone. Depression doesn’t affect our desire to make friends and connect to people, it just affects our ability to do so. One of the best ways to make a depressed person better is to accept them for what they are. You don’t have to try ways to make us ‘undepressed’. You can talk normally to us about normal things also. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help them, but it is okay to not try hard to make us better.

Another thing I want to say is if you do try to help out depressed people, don’t take negative reactions personally. Many times, your brilliant suggestions may just not be acceptable to us because of various reasons. Depression is a disorder that pulls you more into it that it is difficult to come out of it. We get used to it after a point. There was a point in my life when I was too exhausted to even try to get help and come out of this.

My parents kept my depression a secret from my friends and family. We used to lie about going to the psychiatrist and psychologist. I can understand it from their point of view. But now I realized that it is much much better when I talk about my depression to others. Some people don’t get it and I don’t mind (I just judge them for their ignorance 😜). But there are a lot of people here who can understand us. It feels like we are normal and this is not a big problem when we talk to people about this openly.

So, people suffering from mental health issues, please do get help. Don’t hesitate to meet a doctor just because of your fear as to how people would react if they knew. I am not advising you to go talk to everybody about your depression issues from today. I am just saying that you don’t have to hide the fact that you are taking help.

It is okay to be not okay.
-Athira Sunil